What a Roman Emperor taught me
We control how we respond to events, not the events themselves
3:30am. Tired and stressed. Three colleagues and I sat in front of our laptops. Our task was to prepare details of a large contract with a new banking customer. I was working on the financials of the deal. At 9am, CEOs of both companies were due to meet and discuss. Between the four of us, we had one working cable to connect to the network. We frequently swapped the cable between our laptops so we could share the components we were working on. Things were going reasonably well, until they weren’t. My laptop froze. On restarting it, I had lost my financial model. In the moment, the world seemed to be collapsing around me. It took all the composure I could muster not to panic.
Who was Marcus Aurelius?
Marcus Aurelius was the Roman Emperor from 161 to 180 AD. His teachings have transcended time, impacting individuals and societies over centuries. Despite his position of immense power, Marcus Aurelius is best known for his stoic philosophy, a perspective he detailed in his personal writings. Collectively known as Meditations, these writings were personal reflections, never intended to be shared with others. They offer a rare glimpse into the mind of a ruler who was introspective and committed to personal improvement.
Impermanence
Remember how fleeting is the lifespan of all things. This too shall pass. - Marcus Aurelius
Life is short. Everything we see and experience is subject to change and decay. Acceptance of this reality should not evoke despair, but foster an appreciation of the present moment. Possessions and status are temporary and, ultimately, not important.
My mum died in 2020. While she was around, it was difficult to imagine her not being here. My time will come too. This has brought into focus the importance of spending my time intentionally. Learning, creating and supporting others are my priorities.
Perception
You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realise this and you will find strength. - Marcus Aurelius
Our perception of events, rather than the events themselves, determines our responses and emotional states. This is incredibly empowering. We have control over our internal world, even if external circumstances are beyond our control.
Over time, I've learned to take a step back during challenging times and examine how my perceptions are shaping my reactions. I find it useful to project forward a year and ask myself how important this situation will feel looking back. This exercise often changes my emotional response, turning a potentially negative experience into a more neutral or positive one.
Self-Control
The best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury. - Marcus Aurelius
Marcus Aurelius, despite facing rebellion and plague, was a paragon of self-control and discipline. He advocated mastery over his desires and impulses. True freedom comes from being grounded, not indulging every whim.
I cannot live up to these high standards. However, I appreciate the value of self-discipline and am working on improving mine. Whether it's resisting temptation or managing my time more effectively, e.g. avoiding lots of cakes and getting good quality sleep, awareness and self-control helps.
Other resources
50 Rules for Life from the Stoics talk by Ryan Holiday
What Steve Jobs Taught Me post by Phil Martin
What Charlie Munger Taught Me post by Phil Martin
With the support of my work colleagues, I managed to rebuild my financial model. The CEOs met the following morning and the contract was signed. Few were aware of the near disaster unfolding just a few hours earlier.
Have fun.
Phil…
