People who help me find strength in adversity

Blessings and burdens are not mutually exclusive

When I was a teenager, my sister, Julie, and I planned a two-week cycling holiday through the West Country. After taking a train to Taunton, we started cycling towards Exmoor National Park. The weather and scenery were wonderful. Two hours into our ride, descending a hill at about 30 mph, my brakes failed on a tight bend. Julie reached the crest of the hill I had just passed in time to see me disappear into a hedge. As I clambered out of the vegetation, she was relieved to see I had not killed myself. However, she was not so happy to see my buckled front wheel. Half carrying my bike, we walked towards the nearest town for repairs. After three hours, the heavens opened and we got soaked. We tried to keep each others spirits up. To cut a long story short, we cadged a lift, stayed in a B&B and headed home the next day. Not quite the adventure we had envisaged. It had been character building.

We control our response

It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters. - Epictetus

Last week, I posted an article on Reddit entitled What Steve Jobs taught me about sales. Over 170,000 people read it. Many comments were very positive. However, some were not. I was inclined to rebuff them, but I resisted. Shane Parrish’s quote seemed appropriate, The biggest risk with people who criticise you isn’t that they’re right (they rarely are), but rather that you get drawn into solving for the criticisms and lose focus on what matters.

The best revenge

The best revenge is not to be like that. - Marcus Aurelius

Richard McCann was only five when his mum, Wilma, was brutally murdered by Peter Sutcliffe in 1975. Most people would be consumed by feelings of anger and revenge. I was lucky enough to meet Richard. He runs a business, iCan, where he helps children and adults find purpose and motivation to succeed. He is the most remarkable person I have ever met.

Seek the positives

There is good in everything, if only we look for it. - Laura Wilder

Fresh out of university, I started a job with ICI. I would often be in the office, at the end of the day, when the cleaners came in. I became friends with one cleaner who had a pretty tough life. She worked multiple jobs and struggled to make ends meet. Her husband ran off with a younger woman. Her son was a drug addict and stripper. And, to top it all, she had cancer. Despite all this, she was a great laugh. She taught me so much about seeking the positives in life, rather than focus on the negative.

Other resources

Secret Hacks for Living a Fulfilled Life interview with Jimmy Carr

What a Roman Emperor Taught Me post by Phil Martin

Five Stoic Ideas that Help Me post by Phil Martin

Viktor Frankl, psychologist and holocaust survivor, suggested: Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

Have fun.

Phil…

Photo: Toa Heftiba via Unsplash